Questions in a Little Dark Corner

Who are you? Is this me? Why faecal mattert I recognize myself? those wonders hand constantly been around me in the pass few years that I have hided myself in a little dark corner. I have asked the same questions to myself altogether over and over again, but when can I get an answer? Ive only got more and more questions come out through my mind. I dont subsist where they came from, I dont what to say, and I dont know what to do, but cry, in a little dark corner.I started to ask those questions when I came to America. I dont know wherefore, but I do know this have never happened to me before. Back in Taiwan, I was known as a cute little girl that cares to play a lot, m some(prenominal) adult loves me by make them happy. I know I have come from a beautiful little island, which we all called Taiwan. I never approximation about exhalation allwhere outside of this country, until my father has already decided to start a new adventure at America. He thinks this is a darling opp ortunity for us to see outside of the world, and learn some subject new form the out side world. But are you sure this is a right thing to do? Nobody knows, not even myself.Socratic Seminar QuestionsI have no idea whats like to be apart from my country, I just know Im following my dads order, and go on to the airplane just as he tell me to. I only know few words in English, like hello and good bye, or the most important one bathroom. I still remember when we came down from the airplane, we were lost in the airport, since my old(a) sister have the best English out of all of us, my father tried to convince her to ask direction for us, but still she is also have never talk to any American before, therefore we are all dislike to talk to anyone.But we still drive direction for our way out, and then(prenominal) we have the idea to use paper-rock-scissor to decide who will be the one asking direction for us. This paper-rock-scissor thing has happen through out the whole inaugural year that we came to America. Even we have already been practiced talking to native speakers, I dont know why I still didnt see any good of my English skill, and Im the only one still on the same spot as I came to America.I have never liked to talk to any American I know if I dont talk my English skill will never get better, but what can I do? I cant, just cant, Im afraid to make any mistakes or see different people make joke out of me, I dont expect to make gaiety of myself and let people laugh at my face. I dont know what to do, what can I do?At the school, because of my afraid, I didnt talk to any other students therefore I didnt have any friend. Everyone think Im weird, no one likes to talk to me, and there are even have some classmate aspect Im one of the special kid they dont like me, and I dont like them, Im all alone. But is this what I really want? No, I do not want my life continue like this. I want to make some friends, be part of them, have some laugh with, and be happy. Dont walk outside(a) from me, dont turn your face away, look at me and talk to me, be friend with me, but how? I keep asking myself to speak, to talk, just up to(p) my mouth, but why cant I do it? Why? I ask myself in a dark corner.After one year, when I know we are moving, and I was going to transfer to another school, I was so happy I thought I can make up my stupid mistake, and make some friends this time. By the time before the first day to my new school, I was teaching myself how to introduce myself to other classmates in front of my bathroom mirror, think that I can actually make some friend on my own. I was very happy I thought I dont need my little corner any more.But I was wrong. I didnt make up any of my mistakes, I have done it again. When I saw other students came to me, my mouth immediately close up, and I only stand there and watch them walk pass through me one by one. I hate myself, hate that couldnt speak, hate why cant I just do it, and make some friends. Im back in the little dark corner, I said to myself everyday, to talk, to speak, to make friend, but I never did it, I cant, not even I wanted to, my mouth just wont work. What can I do? I keep asking myself the same question again and again.Two years have passed my sister and my brother has getting better and butter in English, and they have make all kinds of friends, only I havent change much, and still no friend for me. High school is getting closer and closer, only few mouth left, I know what I need to do, I know what I should do, but can I do it? I keep practicing my little speech to myself, will I make friends? go away I open my mouth? I dont know, but I will try. I will try anything to get out of the little dark corner. instanter Im a high school student, the little dark corner is getting smaller and smaller I have friends now, and I even have by BFF, and Ill continue to make more friends. I do not need my corner anymore. But still, I will like to become more open like what I use t o be, the happy little girl who always have a nice smile on the face, and make everyone laugh all the time. Even Im not a little girl anymore, to be happy or sad, Im still me, I may change over time, but I am still here. This is the new me, to get stronger and stronger, to help other get out of the little dark corner.